In the old downtown where I live there's a hardware store which I have to believe
would rank well in the "Most Ridiculous Hardware Stores on the Planet, Managed By Some Real Ornery Good Ol
' Boys" competition. Nichol's Hardware sells everything you need, but you'll never find any of it. The last time they organized the store was the day before it opened in 1915. Additional property has been bought, and in it they haphazardly toss bug spray next to PVC pipe next to whiffleball
bats next to vegetable seed. They sell $14 machetes and $6.99 cast iron skillets, nails by the pound, plumbing hardware not used since the 50s. When I wanted a long measuring tape, the guy showed me five different samples, all coming from five radically different part of the store. I once walked in and asked where the buckets were. "Buckets? We don't sell no buckets, boy."
They're* making a documentary about Nichols. Donations are accepted at the Saturday farmer's market. Each week I donate. I can't imagine a more boring documentary. I can't wait.
*I have no idea who.