Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Sore, numb, then sore again

This week's language post is about health care. A visit to the MD this morning confirms: I have pharyngitis. Let's get a summary of events:
  1. I awake with a sore throat for the second day in a row.
  2. I drive to the doctor's office (actually, I saw an FNP; I've always enjoyed Nurse Practitioners; they've done me right).
  3. I tell the FNP, "I have a sore throat."
  4. She pokes around, asks questions, does a strep test, and makes a diagnosis: "You have pharyngitis, but it's not strep. It's almost certainly a virus, so just get a lot of rest and drink plenty of fluids."

That is, I spent my time and money (not to mention my loving HMO's money) to learn that "pharyngitis" is a synonym for "sore throat" [not to hate too much on modern medicine; after all, I did learn that I definitively do not have strep throat; I also learned that I had a temperature of 100.0°(!!!)].

Of course, all was not for naught: I walked away with a prescription for "Viscous Lidocaine," this gooey stuff I've been swishing around every couple of hours. It makes my mouth go numb, preventing me from talking as much. Which is, of course, a bad thing for everyone.


Blogger Anneth said...

Less Talking! More Blogging!

18/4/06 3:48 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

Dude, bring it up with Ryan. He's been MIA...

18/4/06 5:12 PM  
Blogger Anneth said...

Less Wine-Carbonating, More Blogging!

18/4/06 5:36 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

How about a compromise: More Wine-Carbonating! More Blogging!

18/4/06 5:41 PM  
Blogger Anneth said...

WOO WOO!!! *burp*

Gas es fun.

Have you all carbonated anything else?

I just had two glasses of wine, and admittedly, they would have more enjoyable with a little bubbly bub. Or COlittle2.

18/4/06 9:58 PM  
Blogger t(h)om said...

Lidocaine = cocaine's gooey cousin.

19/4/06 9:23 AM  
Blogger Stanley said...

"Iocaine. I'd bet my life on it."

19/4/06 10:02 AM  
Blogger t(h)om said...

the new ingredient for Fauxpagne?

locaine fauxpagne

19/4/06 10:50 AM  
Blogger Stanley said...

Well, I was making a reference to the Princess Bride. But Fauxpagne should probably not include iocaine, which is (depicted in the film as) fatal.

19/4/06 1:07 PM  
Blogger t(h)om said...

but i've spent the last ten years building up an immunity to iocaine powder.

20/4/06 9:27 AM  
Blogger Stanley said...

Anybody want a peanut?

20/4/06 11:23 AM  
Blogger Anneth said...

Have any popcorn?

20/4/06 12:11 PM  

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