Important Advice for the Residents of, and Visitors to, the District of Columbia

If you happen to find yourself lost and pulling a trailer and looking for the way home, drive towards the Capitol. I assure you that you will be promptly stopped, and the polite police person, who was five seconds ago prepared to shoot you, will then tell you how to get to 66.

This is probably not as important as some people seem to think.

More work needs to be done to dispel the notion that no one in New York City toasts bagels. I was just asked, nay, prompted about the matter by a seeming veteran of bagel toasting.

It's A Bummer When You Go To The Beach and The Sun Never Comes Out and It Rains The Whole Time

Which is why I didn't take any pictures. Or get burnt.

But, on the flipside, there was a beach volleyball tournament, which when it wasn't getting rain postponed was lots of fun to watch. And we played skeeball in one of the boardwalk video arcades for what must have been five hours. And we saw The Hangover. Twice. On the same day.

But most memorable of all: it was Beach Week '09 for hundreds and possibly thousands of good-natured and really annoying and clearly-not-drunk-but-wanting-to-appear-drunk East Coast high school kids. They even have shirts for this now, like: "OCEAN CITY BEACH WEEK 09!" and "WHERE ARE ALL THE HIGH SCHOOL B#&@*s?" They didn't have shirts in my day. Oh, wait, yes they did. The one I bought said "I ONLY DATE CRACK WHORES" and when I got home and gave it to my mom to wash it was never seen again.

Dear lord make it stop.

I have inadvertently gotten the "My Buddy" song stuck in my head. Unfortunate, that.

Housemates, I salute you

Heroes of the day: my housemates Bayleaf and Hambone. Out of, apparently, boredom, they rolled all of my loose change, netting me a bank-depositable $103. Woo! Thanks!

Actual Conversation I Had Today

Person: You mean you really haven't heard of The Last Dragon?

Me: No. But I bet the prequel was great.

Person: The prequel?

Me: Yeah. The Penultimate Dragon.

Person: ...

Achoose Wheat Bread

I was getting a sandwich at a deli today, and as the very nice lady from the deli handed me my lunch, she said, "And don't forget to get a drink to go with that, so you don't get the hiccups."

I laughed and said thanks and headed on my way. Once in the car, I kept cracking myself up with the idea of a bunch of angry customers calling in. "YOUR GODDDAMN SANDWICHES GAVE ME THE MOTEHREFUCKING HICCUPS!!!" And that leading to a new company policy that all sandwich orders are to be accompanied by the suggestion of a drink, so as to avoid hiccups.

I should not find this nearly as funny as I do.