Lawnmower Boy
Things That I Think About While I Wait For The Sunshine To Evaporate The Rain Water On The Lawn So I Can Safely Mow My Front Yard
- Sometimes (and this is one of those times) I get not enough sleep. And it makes me feel strange. Like blurry or like my head is underwater. And still, when it's time to go to bed, I don't. But then, for the twenty minutes after I drink a cup of coffee, I feel like Superman.
- Last night I totally wussed out on the end-of-the-evening kiss, and it's going to bother me possibly for the rest of my life, because that's not the kind of thing I usually wuss out on - that's the kind of thing that people not as amazing as me wuss out on; that's the kind of thing that middle-schoolers wuss out on; that's the kind of thing that the meek wuss out on. In my defense, though, I'm gay.
- This morning I went to Barnes & Noble and bought my weight in expensively-priced, cheaply-made paperback books and one $6 copy of The New Yorker. I really like The New Yorker. And books, too. But I wish they were all still leatherbound, because animals need to die so I can have a soft, fleshy, nice-smelling cover for my first edition signed copy of The Devil Wears Prada.
- I'm supposed to go to Toys R Us today to buy Adam more bullets for his Nerf gun. Because I shot them all out the window at UVa kids last night. And I didn't hit anybody. I don't even think anybody noticed. Then again, Adam was supposed to mow the lawn like FOUR days ago. Fuck it.
- Why does grass need to be dry before you mow it anyway? Is it an issue with the mower blade? Am I going to rust it? Because I'm only going to wait for five more minutes. I have things to do, and they don't ever involve ever waiting for grass to dry.
- I wonder if it's possible to grow a beard all the way to your toes.
- Sometimes (and this is one of those times) I get not enough sleep. And it makes me feel strange. Like blurry or like my head is underwater. And still, when it's time to go to bed, I don't. But then, for the twenty minutes after I drink a cup of coffee, I feel like Superman.
- Last night I totally wussed out on the end-of-the-evening kiss, and it's going to bother me possibly for the rest of my life, because that's not the kind of thing I usually wuss out on - that's the kind of thing that people not as amazing as me wuss out on; that's the kind of thing that middle-schoolers wuss out on; that's the kind of thing that the meek wuss out on. In my defense, though, I'm gay.
- This morning I went to Barnes & Noble and bought my weight in expensively-priced, cheaply-made paperback books and one $6 copy of The New Yorker. I really like The New Yorker. And books, too. But I wish they were all still leatherbound, because animals need to die so I can have a soft, fleshy, nice-smelling cover for my first edition signed copy of The Devil Wears Prada.
- I'm supposed to go to Toys R Us today to buy Adam more bullets for his Nerf gun. Because I shot them all out the window at UVa kids last night. And I didn't hit anybody. I don't even think anybody noticed. Then again, Adam was supposed to mow the lawn like FOUR days ago. Fuck it.
- Why does grass need to be dry before you mow it anyway? Is it an issue with the mower blade? Am I going to rust it? Because I'm only going to wait for five more minutes. I have things to do, and they don't ever involve ever waiting for grass to dry.
- I wonder if it's possible to grow a beard all the way to your toes.
posted by Ryan at 13:30
2 Comments:
ryan, youre adorable!
too bad youre such a wuss, though...
no, jk. we know youre just playing 'hard to get', youre trying to seems sweet and shy....but we know the real you!!!
your post's subtitle made me think you were writing a poem in the style of william carlos williams. maybe if you did it would have gone something like this:
"Things That I Think About While I Wait For The Sunshine To Evaporate The Rain Water On The Lawn So I Can Safely Mow My Front Yard"
Sometimes not enough sleep and it feels strange.
Blurry or like underwater.
But then, the twenty minutes after a cup of coffee, like Superman.
Last night I totally wussed on the end-of-evening kiss, possibly for the rest of my life,
the kind of thing that people not as amazing as me wuss out on; middle-schoolers; the meek.
In my defense, though, I'm gay.
I wonder
if it's possible
to grow a beard
all
the way
to your toes.
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