Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Lock it Up

The 2001 Honda Civic is designed to make it nearly impossible to lock your key inside the running vehicle. Nearly impossible.

Here's how to spend an extra $50 on a snowy Wednesday morning:
  1. Unlock your car; start the ignition; turn on the heater and the rear defroster.
  2. Exit the vehicle, and, using a duplicate key, lock the driver's side door, which will in turn lock all the car's doors. {Note: this is a key step. Simply using the automatic locks and exiting the vehicle will not, in fact, lock the driver's side door, because then you might lock your key in the car, see?}
  3. Return inside; finish preparing yourself for another day of toil and trouble.
  4. Return outside; unlock your car's passenger's side to deposit your work-related items in the vehicle; include among these items your duplicate key; lock the passenger's side door manually. {Note: the passenger's side door will allow you to do this.}
  5. Brush and scrape your car to free it from the icy death grip of the previous evening's winter storm.
  6. Curse and swear and throw things.
  7. Call a locksmith.
  8. Be late to work.

It's that easy! Try it today. I promise your morning will be at least as good as mine has been.

6 Comments:

Blogger t(h)om said...

Lock it up, Stan!

It's too bad that Spanish speaking racoons don't get snow days.

14/2/07 11:47 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Ha, the 1997 Honda Accord was designed the same way...so I've been there, buddy.

14/2/07 4:14 PM  
Blogger The Modesto Kid said...

Fun! I only ever did that with a rental car, far from home and late at night. I fretted until a passing policeman showed me how to jimmy the lock.

14/2/07 8:33 PM  
Blogger The Modesto Kid said...

(Hey did I ever mention I have a moment of vertigo every time I'm changing clothes at the gym that I will take all my clothing off, including the garment which has the key to my padlock in one of its many pockets, put said garment in the locker, go to take a shower and unthinkingly close the locker and the padlock, leaving myself with no access to my clothing? I oughta use a combination lock.)

15/2/07 11:39 AM  
Blogger MB said...

This would be an example where the catchy Wedding Crashers phrase "Lock it up" would not be a desirable result, as compared to when you've been drinking too much and are beginning to lose that sense of appropriateness needed in most social situations. In that instance the phrase "Lock it up" would be appropriate.

15/2/07 12:45 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

TMK: oh my, I'd be terrified. Surely, you should make the switch to combo lock.

Mr. Feeble: the title of this post was a bat signal, and you, sir, are Batman.

15/2/07 1:45 PM  

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