An Open Letter to the Dumbshit Who Stole My Bike Headlight While My Bike Was Parked in the Corner Parking Lot
Dear Dumbshit,
You are a dumbshit. May you, while biking home, illuminate, ever so briefly, an unnavigable obstacle with sufficient time to comprehend the coming—but, one hopes, reparable—injuries to your plunderous, pilfering hands.
mmkthxbye,
Stan
You are a dumbshit. May you, while biking home, illuminate, ever so briefly, an unnavigable obstacle with sufficient time to comprehend the coming—but, one hopes, reparable—injuries to your plunderous, pilfering hands.
mmkthxbye,
Stan
posted by Stanley at 00:01
8 Comments:
I confess.
the thing is my mom really needed the light.
her retinas are closing and it was her last wish to enjoy one more bike ride.
i'm very sorry.
if it makes you feel any better, she did indeed flip over in a pothole.
My condolences.
Does this mean I'm getting my light back?
teh suck
How odd. I wrote an open letter today too.
Sorry about your bike headlight :(
HAHAHAHAHA.
Glad I didn't stick around, after all. I fear your wrath when it comes to your bike.
Jeez, sorry. Some people ll take anything that's not bolted down. Your headlight?
TMK: I know! My headlight? Eh. Eekbeat pointed out that this was not total disregard for my safety, as the thief left my un-bolted down helmet.
I suspect drunkards, as my bike was parked in an area heavily trafficked by people of that ilk.
I never suspected you were someone of the ilk to be using the word ilk.
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