Sibera is unbreakable

The game of RISK stared with Ryan pouring everybody sparkling wine while we doled out country ownership and LC explained to Jordan how it is, exactly, that one conquers the world with three dice and tons of plastic cannons. In the first round of turns Stanley's Team Gray made some underhanded deals with Red in order to take solid control of Africa, LC's Red Squad laid claim over South America (using the same anti-Interpol tactics), Team Jordan (Black) began a shaky and ill-advised run for all of Europe, and Ryan staked out the purple land of Australia, placing his headquarters neatly in Sydney, where like nobody was ever going to get, ever. The North American frontier was most likely going to Ryan's forces, but meanwhile Jordan continued to send troops into Greenland, just to be a bitch, and by no means was Eastern America a walk in the park, pillage-wise. Nary a world leader expressed any real interest in Asia's seven points per turn, although Ryan dared everybody to attempt to enter Siberia, which he deemed "unbreakable".

The first notable skirmish was more verbal than anything else. Prime Minister Jordan of Team Black showed notable frustration over Ryan and Stanley's constant argumentative presence at World Summits, telling the two Presidents to quite frankly, "Shut the fuck up and let Lauren decide for herself," to which Ryan and Stanley gave each other a look and passed the salsa dip and decided to make pizza. North American control soon went to Ryan. Stanley showed interest in stacking multiple horsies in the Middle East. Most battles now were nominal and only for the cards.

Just as all global politics seemed balanced and calm, with all forces agreeing to use Asia as a ground to beat each other around and get cards. Stanley broke his pact with Team LC and sent a serious wave waterborne manpower across the ocean into Brazil, where most top-level intelligence officers thought LC's headquarters to be located. Somebody went to get beer and now smoke breaks were constant.

Maybe in the time it took the pizza to cook all of South America was demolished, forcing LC to push her forces into Mexico, breaking up Ryan's hold on America and just like seriously pissing him off. Ryan then was forced to exit America through the back door (Alaska) and make a run for all of Asia, which he was successful in doing. At this point all armies were adding 30, 40, 50 new troops every turn, and casualties per round were at least in the lower hundreds w/r/t little men being dropped back into their rectangular plastic containers. LC took America. Stanley now had Africa and South America, but had lost the Middle East. Ryan was in Australia and Asia. Jordan had had Europe for some time, but was facing serious cannon power at all borders, most of which were pointed at the tippy-top of Big Ben.

LC, not happy with the glory of her new headquarters both in California and Quebec, ran mass troops through Alaska and just fucked Ryan's world up in big ways. Ryan lost most of Asia and all of Australia. Jordan was more or less done. Stanley was a dick. LC now had troops on all colored continents except Africa, which Stanley no longer had because of a deal made between Asmith (newly elected president of Team Black (Jordan had to go bartend)) and Ryan wherein they both stormed Egypt with like totally insane paratroopers and ended up taking all of Northern Africa.

Stanley turned in some cards and prepared for a mass takeover, maybe aiming his guns at the complete destruction of both Team Ryan and Team Asmith/Jordan, but then some other non-world leader peoples showed up and somebody pointed out that this whole world domination thing had been going on for seven-and-a-half hours, so it was ended.

But probably Ryan was going to win.