The Alternate

I'm back from a long weekend in Chicago (well, mostly Tinley Park, Blue Island, Mount Greenwood, and a handful of other suburbs and neighborhoods on the city's south side). The latest wedding confirms that, had I stayed in Chicago, rather than moving to Virginia:

• I would shave my head or wear excessive gel in my ever-depleting hair;
• I would have recently graduated with a math or science degree, perhaps from UIUC;
• I would have a good-paying job doing something with the above-mentioned degree;
• I would be arranging my finances to acquire a townhouse or condo on land that was once used to grow corn, far to the south (and west) of the city's downtown;
• I would be planning my marriage to a girl from nearby, preferably Irish/Polish Catholic and fond of the make-up;
• I would be, for all it's worth, as happy as I am now.

{Sidebar: this post has been made weirder by the fact that I just finished watching Donnie Darko for the first time.}