sSSSsSssSsssSsSSSSssS

Here's the things::::::::::::::
Ryan doesn't have the internet because he fights the man with fists ssflyssing and refuses to pay whatever fee the internet people charge, whichs is surely nominal scomspared to the amount of money Ryan spends on gas and fast food and hydrogenated oils. So when Ryan, your lovely co-blogger (although slet's be honest Stanley doesn't let him get a word in edgewise), decides he has to use the internet,s he goes over to Lady's shouse (lovely, lovely Lady) to use her sweet iBooks thing which has the wireless access that Ryan really really really wishes he had but won't steep to (wireless is for people who like Indie Rock). So Ryan ssgoes to Lasdy's house and checks his email and, you know, does the internet thing: myspace, some ebay, wryandstanley, a little facebook (like you don't), maybe some random wikipedia.
The problem is (as I hope you have noticed) is that whenever Ryan's nimble fingers brush the S button,s or even think about brushsing the S button, sor even, really, get ansywhere near the keyboard or the computer itself or even the ss house the comspuster sits in, waiting, S button ready to fuck around - whenever anys of this happens, the S button takes matters into its own hands and goes ahead and assumes Ryan wanted it pressed, which, more often than not, is not the case (although Ryan is aware that, like R, T, L, N, and E, S is one of the popular letters.).
So everything scomes out all spattered with S's and it makes sme question my styping abilities, which, according to smy 6th grade shome-ec teacher, are "splendid and jovial."