Ye Olde Healthe Cayre

As a lover of freedom, I'm spending my Independence Day at work, keeping the cogs and gears of the new economy humming along at a patriotic pace. Sure, I'd rather be throwing horseshoes and drinking beer, but it's not so bad—I earn a full paid day-off to be used a later date of my choosing.

I do, however, object to having to endure this crap:

Co-Worker: You know I was reading about America's early history, and man, those Indians sure have some stuff to complain about.

Me: We certainly did awful things. You know, that's interesting; I don't think many people think about that on the Fourth of July. Good for y–

C-W: Nah, man. It was diseases. It was gruesome times, but you know, it was God's plan, to, ya know, pave the way for the Europeans.

M: Well, sure diseases played a role, but I'm sure the blankets helped.

C-W: Blankets? Yeah, that wasn't until right at the end. That never would've happened if it hadn't been part of God's plan from the start.

M: [blank stare]

C-W: Gruesome, man. Gruesome… Anyways, Happy Fourth!

I guess I'll tune in next week to find out 3/5 really is a whole person, if you round up.