Monday, December 17, 2007

And God spake all these words, saying,

Ryan sits at a cubicle in the Charlottesville library, typing on a computer. Across from Ryan sits a Stereotypical Homeless Man, reading a magazine. Up walks a Library Worker. Action.

Library Worker, to Stereotypical Homeless Man: If I see you doing it again, you're going to have to leave.
Stereotypical Homeless Man: Doing it?
Library Worker: This is a no cell phone area. If I see you on your cell phone again, you're going to have to leave.
Homeless Man: But B.B. King, he stole it all from Ledbelly. [to Ryan] You know it's true. I can tell you know. You got that look.
Library Worker: Those are the rules.
Homeless Man: Can I get a copy of the rules?
Library Worker: Certainly.
Homeless Man, to Ryan: It was his tone, really, that B.B. King stole. You know it's true. And you know what else you know? You know I used to work in this very building, when it used to be a bank. Then it was a Wendy's. But it wasn't here, it was on Hydraulic. And at Wendy's - shit - I could make all the calls I wanted. No limit, man. No limit.
Library Worker hands Homeless Man a copy of the rules.
Homeless Man: What's this?
Library Worker: The rules. You asked for them.
Homeless Man: I don't need this. [to Ryan] You know who needs the rules? B.B. King. [to Library Worker] And your daughter. She needs the rules.
Library Worker: If I see you on your phone again, you're out.
Homeless Man, to Ryan: I'ma get the Bible out on her ass. I'ma get all Exodus 20 on her. Them's the rules.

2 Comments:

Blogger The Neoskeptic said...

love homeless guy with cell phone.

17/12/07 12:15 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

God sure uses a lot of bold, Ryan.

18/12/07 1:41 AM  

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