Sunday, December 09, 2007

El bingo!

¡Estupendo! This weekend has been that. With a dollop of whiskey on top. Actually, it was a bucket of whiskey.

* * *

Right before our set, I announced to the band my intention to micturate; however, my wording was not ideal. I said, "I'm gonna go take a leaky-poo."

Do not say this phrase. It leads to confusion and, perhaps, rumors about your fiber intake.
* * *

I was informed, by a man in a tuxedo, that Mike Huckabee is basically a Democrat. Um, no, actually.

* * *

We stopped at Sheetz on the way to DC. Did you know that Sheetz now has a breakfast burrito? Well, they do, and they want to tell you all about it. Via signage that says "El breakfast-o".

¡El breakfast-o! Just like they have in ¡el México!

I hope Tom Tancredo hears about it. He's gonna be pissed. Which might be the one redeeming quality of Sheetz' current ad campaign.

* * *

The advertising prompted Boobers to remind me of the story of his grandma, who would often exclaim, "El bingo!" Man, I love that story.

* * *

Chico? You know, the bassist dude. He's good people. Trustworthy.

When I drunkenly insisted on ordering a cheese-and-mushroom pizza at 2:30 in the morning, he wholeheartedly endorsed the decision. And chowing down on a slice, he declared, "I don't trust people who don't like mushrooms."


* * *

When I got home, I decided, like a good Catholic, that today would be my day of rest. Which means beer and football, of course.

As I walked back from the beer store, a minivan pulled over and hailed me. Lifting a videocamera, the passenger informed me— between the giggles of the kids in the back—that they were on a sort of Christmas scavenger hunt, and one of the items on the list was to hand a stranger an envelope full of money.

Score! Six bucks!

I support this behavior and encourage more people to pay me for being a dude walking down the street with a armful of beer.

* * *

Oh yeah! I forgot: in the hotel rooms this weekend, we were flipping through the standard-issue Gideon Bible, and I wondered: what if a prominent and well-respected Muslim organization put copies of the Qur'an in every hotel room in the country? Or the Bhagavad Gita or any other holy book? I think it would be like the uber-troll of the wacky religious right. Probably not gonna happen though.


Blogger LC said...

What's your email?

9/12/07 7:39 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

Email sent—via email.

9/12/07 9:35 PM  
Anonymous teofilo said...

Hotel rooms in Utah (and some parts of other nearby states) have the Book of Mormon in them.

10/12/07 1:14 AM  
Blogger The Modesto Kid said...

el Breakfast-o

In between Modesto and the Bay Area somewhere (I don't remember exactly where but we would stop there to go to the bathroom) is a tourist attraction called Casa de Fruta. There are several buildings and each has a sign that says "Casa de" something, and the "something" is a faux-Spanish word for whatever item is sold in the stand. When we stopped there to go to the bathroom, my dad's (Portuguese) friend Joe would ask as we got out of the car, "Donde està, Casa de Pepé?"

10/12/07 7:42 AM  
Blogger eekbeat said...

Aha! It's all coming together now..

10/12/07 1:28 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

I told you it would. Have faith!

10/12/07 1:29 PM  
Anonymous JJ said...

I play bingo a lot and I have found I have to ask for numbers to be repeated often, I thought I just had a bad memory but its apparently because I’m dyslexic and my mind struggles to take in what I have heard! But apparently this in not a rare problem as this is a mild symptom of dyslexia and a lot of people have it! I find it easier using a Bingo Game Online. Anybody else have this problem?

3/1/08 5:12 AM  
Anonymous bingo news said...

bingo is a great game

31/3/08 12:09 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

I am drawing inexplicable joy from the idea that this comment thread is evolving into some sort of strange repository for bingo spammers.

31/3/08 2:45 PM  

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