A Story
Two ear mites found themselves in a football helmet. As chance befell them, the helmet belonged to the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys, who had a game that very same day.
Soon the quarterback suited up for the game, donning his helmet as he jogged out to the field. The mites, meanwhile, as mites are wont to do, made their way into his ear canal to take up residence and engage in their standard mitish practices.
As the mites ventured through the canal, they were met by a third mite, who emerged from a burrow, quite startling the newly arrived mites. However, the three mites were soon laughing together as they exchanged tales and jokes about the vicissitudes of life as an ear mite.
Eventually, the new arrivals were overtaken by curiosity, for, as everyone knows, it is highly unusual for an ear mite to burrow, preferring, as they do, to live in the canal without burrowing. Asking the third mite about the burrowing practice, the mite explained that she had never done so before coming to this host and that, having done so, she found the experience quite pleasant.
As the day wore on, the newly arrived mites parted ways with the mite already-in-residence. They walked for awhile longer before the first mite paused and asked, "So, do we burrow or what?"
Shrugging and diving in to the tissue of the ear canal, the second mite exclaimed, "When in Romo..."
Soon the quarterback suited up for the game, donning his helmet as he jogged out to the field. The mites, meanwhile, as mites are wont to do, made their way into his ear canal to take up residence and engage in their standard mitish practices.
As the mites ventured through the canal, they were met by a third mite, who emerged from a burrow, quite startling the newly arrived mites. However, the three mites were soon laughing together as they exchanged tales and jokes about the vicissitudes of life as an ear mite.
Eventually, the new arrivals were overtaken by curiosity, for, as everyone knows, it is highly unusual for an ear mite to burrow, preferring, as they do, to live in the canal without burrowing. Asking the third mite about the burrowing practice, the mite explained that she had never done so before coming to this host and that, having done so, she found the experience quite pleasant.
As the day wore on, the newly arrived mites parted ways with the mite already-in-residence. They walked for awhile longer before the first mite paused and asked, "So, do we burrow or what?"
Shrugging and diving in to the tissue of the ear canal, the second mite exclaimed, "When in Romo..."
posted by Stanley at 18:02
7 Comments:
That's gross in about five different ways.
So much buildup. So little payoff.
I give, and I give, and I give.
And this is the thanks I get?
Bah-humbug.
This story was really cool up until the end... jesus fucking christ, stanley(i can just picture you cracking yourself up when you came up with this story).
That was the part that cracked me up. The image of Stanley cracking up at the silly joke.
I'm going to bone up on my first grade jokes so I can amuse Stanley next week.
poppa tomato, momma tomato, and baby tomato were walking along, and baby tomato started to lag behing. Poppa tomato went over to baby tomato, stomped on him with his foot and said,....
Catch-Up!
PS. Stanley, I loved your story, as I hate Romo, so thus, I love the thought of ear mites in his head.
Finally: Someone who understands!
Thanks, miss contentious.
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