Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Death in a Jar

I came home from work to find this jar on the dining-room table. Oh, how nice, I thought to myself. Someone's caught some lovely outdoor creature, perhaps a praying mantis, and we can observe it for a little while before setting it free to live out its days in the wild.

"What's in the jar?" I ask my roommate dijonbray.

"A black widow spider. Hambone [another roommate] found it by the shed.""

Which is followed by me freaking out that the cats are going to knock over the jar in the night, and the spider is going to KILL US ALL OHMIGOD. Which is why everyone else in the house thinks I'm being overly paranoid

But just look at the red spot:

The mark of death! We're all doomed! Crap!

If this is my last blogpost ever—if my brief mortal trudge on this wet speck of dust is made even briefer by the toxic fangs of a vicious arachnid—I want you to know that I love you all. (Except you, Hambone. Way to get us all killed.)


Anonymous Bave Dee said...

Black widow spiders are TERRIFYING and deadly. But we used to have fun as kids throwing firecrackers into their webs and trying to get them to go over and eat the firecracker before it blew up. (I don't remember this ever actually working, but all the black widow webs ended up with little bits of singed red paper in them for a month or so after the 4th of July.)

11/3/08 11:24 PM  
Blogger bitchphd said...

Yes, they are really icky.

You, being an adult in decent health, are unlikely to die from a black widow bite, though.

12/3/08 2:07 AM  
Blogger The Neoskeptic said...

Adult? Stanley?

12/3/08 9:12 AM  

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