Friday, February 22, 2008

Free New Zealand Yadda Yadda Five

(So's against his very explicit wishes, here I am, Teddy at your wood chopping service, blogging on Ryan's site thing, because I've got the day off and just got a bit of a raise, had a bit of a piss off last night in Bannockburn, feeling troublesome and bored on my boat, waiting to see if it's going to rain or just stay cloudy or what. It goes without saying that I know Ryan's password and email login, just as I know all about his online banking activity and the emails he exchanges with his parents [Hi Moms!], as he yells them all to me in his Yankee falsetto across the water.

(The boss has had me splitting wood from one of his work sites for the past three weeks, just up in Lowburn. Thirty-five meters in all, told me he thought it'd take the better part of three weeks, assuming alls we got was a day or two of good rain. Knocked the whole job out in one week five days, tell you what. Thirty-five meters, mind you. Boss came by and told me he was quite impressed. Quite impressed indeed. Told me to take off at three yesterday, have a bit of a piss. Told me he'd see to it that I got a dollar or two raise. Not bad for an old fart from Auckland, eh?

(So here I am, layin on the boat, waiting for the wine tour busses to drop them nice lassies off for a spill in the river. I'm all booted up in case Ryan comes by wanting to get in touch with his friends from the States. I keep my eye on the hill, just waiting for him to pop around with his stupid ass baseball cap and those dinky rubber shoes he always wears. Sometimes he pops by on that purple bike of his, wearing that red helmet. That kid really needs to get a car.

(Neways, this is none but a quick g'day mates from Teddy, fisher and mover, chopper and clipper, jack of all master of none, as they say. Hope things are well in the States, and you're not all getting suckered into another decade of bullshit by the Obama or the Hillary, as we Kiwis all assume you are!)

8 Comments:

Blogger eekbeat said...

hi Teddy!

22/2/08 10:51 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

I will note here my full and undivided support for the Teddy blogging, notwithstanding the multiple bemused inquiries as to what exactly is going on with the whole Teddy thing.

22/2/08 10:55 PM  
Anonymous dijonbray said...

Teddy offers the kind of brilliance that renders commenters speechless for reply.

But while Teddy is off feasting on the fruits of his labors in NZ, mostly attractive women are organizing arm-wrestling tourneys in Charlottesville, VA.

So yeah, see if your dingos can eat that, bitch!

P.S. Send me a pebble from a mountain where mighty Frodo once stood.

23/2/08 3:10 AM  
Anonymous t(h)om said...

teddy is the best narrator of web two-dot-oh

23/2/08 8:33 AM  
Blogger LC said...

Teddy is weird. Don't encourage "Teddy." In a given phone conversation that averages 45 minutes, 44 minutes are spent pleading with "Teddy" to give the phone back to Ryan. The last minute is spent in silence, because I don't know how to talk to Ryan anymore. So I ask for Teddy again.

24/2/08 9:14 AM  
Blogger Stanley said...

mostly attractive women

Uh, dijon? I'm assuming you meant something else here? Maybe?

That said, the arm-wrestling folks are pretty awesome. I'm sorry I missed the recent Blue Moon event.

24/2/08 5:32 PM  
Anonymous dijonbray said...

i meant the most attractive women!

/T.U.I.

25/2/08 1:03 AM  
Anonymous t(h)om said...

i'm getting on the phone with the hobbit king of new zealand to broker some kind of ryan-teddy exchange program.

25/2/08 8:21 AM  

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