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So I came to New Zealand thinking there would be all these great exotic foods that I had never heard of with wierd Maori names that translated to things like "long white river of puffy pastry" and "endless spice of the sky." I was thinking, obviously, that kiwis were both fruits and birds, and that I could eat both of them, possibly even together in "get a taste of NZ" platter. But I was wrong. Nobody eats Kiwis (the birds) and kiwis (the fruits) are just like anywhere else, maybe a little more concentrated. Most people have told me that New Zealand is a steak and potatoe / fish and chips country (Right-o, mate), which it's not like I've never had a steak before.

So I've been expanding my seafood horizons, with all kinds of new fish names like hoki and yodi and guguah (Aye, hoki up from Nelson, best fish in the world. No joke, mate. In the world. Best fish.). But the most interesting new food?



Yes, the vegemite. A staple here. Brains are rocked when they learn that Ryan has never had vegemite before. It's like when they learn that the reason I have trouble driving stick shift here is because everything's opposite, or when they learn that, to me, Z is pronounced Zee, and not Zed. Brains are rocked. Worlds are unhinged and forever changed. It is the least I can do.