All Minorities Think I Look Like Peter Parker

Whenever the quote unquote nice old woman from whom I buy my dozen quote unquote extra-large brown free range chicken eggs every Saturday morning at the Farmer's Market down the street from my apt. - whenever this maybe nice maybe not so nice it's a tough call lady is making me change, because the more or less regular-sized but labeled as extra-large eggs cost $3.50 American p. dozen and I don't carry change, as I find it lumpy and uncomfortable to sit down with like a George Castanza-type wallet, hard on the ass and it makes me walk self-consciously, like for the same reason I don't like to have cell phones or keys or anything, really, in any of my pant pockets, so I don't carry change, ever, never have never will, and so I don't have $0.50 American, I'm sorry but I just don't - but anyway this old woman, who hails from CT, this I know because a few weeks ago we talked about the late frosts we've been having in VA, or had had, in April, at the beginning of April, which caused a lot of problems for the crops and also probably lots of backyard flowers that got all confused with the warm January and February and then here come all these cold, like literally freezing, nights in mid-April, these nights of which I talked with the old woman who told me that they did not have these problems up in CT, and it wouldn't matter anyway because she grows all her herbs in a greenhouse, and she is counting my change, making my $5.00 American turn into $1.50 American and one dozen normal-sized "extra-large" brown free range chicken eggs - so but when she's counting my change she always looks up at me and smiles and kind of manages to explain, just with her eyes and facial expression and the impressive amount of time she lets elapse whilst quote unquote counting the change, that maybe she thinks she shouldn't have to give me change, this is what she is telling me, that I should say, 'Keep the change,' like it's only $0.07 American or like she's serving me at IHOP, and somehow I am positive this is what she's telling me, just by looking, just by counting extra slow, maybe having to dig into a second - yea, second - small register thing to get the dimes (she's been out of quarters for like decades), just by looking up, back down at the change, eye contant with me again, change, me, again and again, like this is a real hassle, her selling me these 300% marked-up fucking eggs and then having to, God forbid, fish some change out and maybe touch my hand.