Sunday, July 23, 2006

This May or May Not Have Happened to Me or Somebody I Know on the DC Metro This Past Saturday

You are on the DC Metro. It is clean and carpeted and well-lit. Lots of orange and white. It is not very crowded. Most of the seats are full, but nobody is standing. It is 7 at night.

Your friend has a sticker that says 100% COTTON MADE IN VIETNAM and he sticks it on the sleeve of your shirt, but you don't notice. You sit down. You are sitting at a ninety degree angle to a 35 year old couple. Their knees are almost touching the side of your left leg. Nobody is talking.

You notice the sticker on your sleeve. You flick it off. It lands on the jeans of the 34 year old guy. It sticks.

You very carefully reach to pick it off the 34 year old guy's jeans. It doesn't come off. It is stuck very well. You try again. No luck. You try again. No luck. You have rubbed his jeans 3 times now.

"Excuse me," the 34 year old guy says. You look at him and he does not look happy. He looks at you, and then at the sticker, and then back at you.

"Oh, sorry," you say. "There's a . . . sticker." You try to pick it off again. No luck. "It's stuck to your . . . um . . .you know . . . leg."

"Yeah," he says. "I got it." He picks the sticker off his jeans and hands it to you. The rest of the ride is awkward. Your friends try to joke about it, but the guy doesn't laugh. It is more awkward.

Seeing as how people don't like to be touched by strangers, especially on the Metro, should you have even tried to pick the sticker off his jeans in the first place?


Blogger Sebastian said...

who rides the metro expecting to not have a little incidental physical contact with a complete stranger?

24/7/06 2:42 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

More importantly, who consorts with terrorist-cotton-buying freedom haters?

Sounds like Ryan (or Somebody Ryan Knows) needs some new friends, ones who buy Amurickan.

(Also, I probably would have just told the guy, apologized, and asked politely if he'd like me to remove it. That said, his was certainly an overreaction.)

24/7/06 2:51 PM  

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