I am a big dork

with very dry socks:

In which I compose a joke.

Q: Why doesn't Jay-Z's computer crash?

A: He's got ninety-nine problems, but a glitch ain't one.

Hey-o!

I think the funniest part of Marko's visit this weekend was walking past the local framing shop and coming up with an elaborate scheme to go in and say, in a sinister tone, "I need you to make it look like my brother-in-law did something."

And then pause for effect, and then say, "I need you to make it look like he painted a picture."

I cannot explain why this was so incredibly hilarious, but it was.