Movie Idea

Stoners find Jesus. Working title: Dude, Where's My Carpenter?

Everything In The Hog Except The Sqeal

I was sick the week in third grade when we learned to tell time on analog clocks. So it took me until like 8th grade to really get it right. Those things are confusing, right? Especially when the only analog clocks in your life are on the walls of classrooms - everything else is digital and even if you weren't sick that day you have to admit that digital clocks are way easier to read.

Anyway I was also sick when we were supposed to read The Jungle, by my boy Upton. Everyone always (hardly ever) talks about how this book focuses on the underside of meat packing the the meat canning industry and how after Upton published the country passed regulations on the meat industry and just realy cleaned things up. I'm sure that's all true (although to think that food processing in this country is cleaned up is to be sorely mistaken), but son, that book is about workers rights. Just too bad that you don't get sweet disgusting quotes about workers rights like you do about grinding cow bones into a paste and injecting that paste into spoiled hams.

Northern Invasion!

Wait. There's a Mexico, Maine?! Has anyone told Arizona about this? Holy shit.

I Told Stanley I Would Blog, So Whatever, Here It Is

I've been listening to a lot of records lately. I bought a record player about 8 months ago and I've joined the ranks of all the greasy-haired record buyers across the nation, flipping through their stacks, looking for Kinks Korean imports, talking about their show last night and how they're playing at mile 10 of the county marathon the next day and that should be a really good opportunity to offload some demos and T-shirts. Do you know of someone who'll sit on on drums? Not a Bonham wannabe but more you know just a good solid backbeat, and not many frills?

This is now the second kind of shopping I enjoy, alongside shopping for wine. I used to enjoy used book stores (and still do sometimes) but something's happened to my eyesight where it's painful to me to read the titles off the shelves for more than ten minutes. The font on book spines is the right size and right distance away to fit into this gray zone between where I need to wear glasses and where I don't. So I end up putting them on and off as I peruse and I walk out with a headache.