Thursday, September 24, 2009

Rotten Tricks

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Even though you may have thought potatoes seem never to go bad, they can go bad, and when they go bad, they go BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.

If you want to extract revenge from someone at a several-months-long remove, conceal well a bag of potatoes in that person's house or car.

Sunday, September 20, 2009


Last night, as I biked to a dinner date with myself, some railroad squatter dude yelled out to me, "Hey, bike kid! Wanna drink whiskey in an old school bus with a bunch of us?"

My answer went unspoken, but it would've been: "Sort of."

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


A good name for a dive bar/crappy music venue: The Armphitheatre.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009


Hey, did you hear the one about the Polish guy who forgot to eat dinner?

It's true. He failed to get his pierogitives straight.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

"Hey, Boss. Where should we hang the sign?

"Oh, anywhere's fine."

Nice work, Seminole Square Giant.

A not-half-bad bumper sticker

might read: "I break for spelling errors."