Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Maybe I'm Beachy

I tend to don some sort of facial hair. Standard fare is sideburns, with the occasional foray into moustachery and beardism. The current configuration is something like this:

Some say "Lincolnesque," though I don't think I'm gaunt enough. And "gotta get gaunter" doesn't seem like a very productive personal motto. Oh well.

There's no real purpose to my facial hair at any given time (though one time in college I claimed I was trying to reclaim moustaches from policemen and child molesters everywhere). It's just boredom. Or, I guess, playing dress-up.

But people's reactions can be pretty funny. This from over the weekend, at a gas station in Richmond:

Clerk: Why do you wear your hair like that [gestures around face]?
Me: Uh, you mean my beard?
Clerk: Yeah.
Me: You mean, am I Amish?
Clerk: Yeah.
Me: This is a gas station. I drove a car here.

On reflection, maybe I was a bit harsh. Sorry, gas station clerk. It was 3am. I was cranky.

Is it normal for people to inquire so openly about one's religious and cultural associations? Reading this entry I learned that the Amish may indeed have cause to visit a gas station after all (for a gas-powered tiller, say), so maybe that particular gas station gets a lot of New Order Amish customers. At 3am. Buying nachos.


Blogger StLmom said...

Yeah, I hear the Amish are big on nachos.

Seriously, why do people have to comment or question the appearance of others? Where does that come from? Don't: ever ask a woman if she's pregnant, or a freakishly tall person, such as myself, anything pertaining to the distance my legs go up, or about my basketball prowess.

I'm cranky too. Happy holidays.

19/12/06 8:50 PM  
Blogger M. LeBlanc said...

It's a good thing you put that "not to scale" note on theer. I was worried for a second that you might have a tiny rat-sized face, Abe.

19/12/06 9:08 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

And what, leblanc, do you have against people with tiny rat-sized faces?

19/12/06 9:15 PM  
Blogger t(h)om said...

that diagram may not have been to scale. but, i will tell you, Stanley's eyes really are that blue.

great posts, Stan!

20/12/06 9:22 AM  
Blogger The Modesto Kid said...

A fine line from Against the Day (from inexact memory):

Frank smiled at Estrella. "I hope you find the right hombre."

"I'm kind of glad it wasn't you. You're a nice guy, but pretty disgusting with all that hair growing out of your face. And you always smell like coffee."

20/12/06 9:23 AM  
Blogger Stanley said...

TMK: That's hilarious and not far off. You know, I've never read any Thomas Pynchon. That's something that needs remedying.

20/12/06 2:56 PM  
Blogger M. LeBlanc said...

Man, TMK, you've been eating, drinking, and sleeping Against the Day since Thanksgiving, haven't you?

That said, I, too, have read no Pynchon, although I made an aspirational purchase of Gravity's Rainbow, like, five months ago.

20/12/06 10:48 PM  
Blogger The Modesto Kid said...

Yeah -- I haven't really been doing that much reading strickly speakin but what I've been doing, has been ATD. And a little bit of M&D rereading for good measure. Let me know if you get anywhere with GR -- it is a magical, magical book and not really that difficult to read in its first half or so -- though bizarrely difficult after that.

21/12/06 9:08 AM  

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