Maybe I'm Beachy
I tend to don some sort of facial hair. Standard fare is sideburns, with the occasional foray into moustachery and beardism. The current configuration is something like this:
Some say "Lincolnesque," though I don't think I'm gaunt enough. And "gotta get gaunter" doesn't seem like a very productive personal motto. Oh well.
There's no real purpose to my facial hair at any given time (though one time in college I claimed I was trying to reclaim moustaches from policemen and child molesters everywhere). It's just boredom. Or, I guess, playing dress-up.
But people's reactions can be pretty funny. This from over the weekend, at a gas station in Richmond:
Clerk: Why do you wear your hair like that [gestures around face]?
Me: Uh, you mean my beard?
Clerk: Yeah.
Me: You mean, am I Amish?
Clerk: Yeah.
Me: This is a gas station. I drove a car here.
On reflection, maybe I was a bit harsh. Sorry, gas station clerk. It was 3am. I was cranky.
Is it normal for people to inquire so openly about one's religious and cultural associations? Reading this entry I learned that the Amish may indeed have cause to visit a gas station after all (for a gas-powered tiller, say), so maybe that particular gas station gets a lot of New Order Amish customers. At 3am. Buying nachos.
Some say "Lincolnesque," though I don't think I'm gaunt enough. And "gotta get gaunter" doesn't seem like a very productive personal motto. Oh well.
There's no real purpose to my facial hair at any given time (though one time in college I claimed I was trying to reclaim moustaches from policemen and child molesters everywhere). It's just boredom. Or, I guess, playing dress-up.
But people's reactions can be pretty funny. This from over the weekend, at a gas station in Richmond:
Clerk: Why do you wear your hair like that [gestures around face]?
Me: Uh, you mean my beard?
Clerk: Yeah.
Me: You mean, am I Amish?
Clerk: Yeah.
Me: This is a gas station. I drove a car here.
On reflection, maybe I was a bit harsh. Sorry, gas station clerk. It was 3am. I was cranky.
Is it normal for people to inquire so openly about one's religious and cultural associations? Reading this entry I learned that the Amish may indeed have cause to visit a gas station after all (for a gas-powered tiller, say), so maybe that particular gas station gets a lot of New Order Amish customers. At 3am. Buying nachos.
posted by Stanley at 13:17
8 Comments:
Yeah, I hear the Amish are big on nachos.
Seriously, why do people have to comment or question the appearance of others? Where does that come from? Don't: ever ask a woman if she's pregnant, or a freakishly tall person, such as myself, anything pertaining to the distance my legs go up, or about my basketball prowess.
I'm cranky too. Happy holidays.
It's a good thing you put that "not to scale" note on theer. I was worried for a second that you might have a tiny rat-sized face, Abe.
And what, leblanc, do you have against people with tiny rat-sized faces?
that diagram may not have been to scale. but, i will tell you, Stanley's eyes really are that blue.
great posts, Stan!
A fine line from Against the Day (from inexact memory):
Frank smiled at Estrella. "I hope you find the right hombre."
"I'm kind of glad it wasn't you. You're a nice guy, but pretty disgusting with all that hair growing out of your face. And you always smell like coffee."
TMK: That's hilarious and not far off. You know, I've never read any Thomas Pynchon. That's something that needs remedying.
Man, TMK, you've been eating, drinking, and sleeping Against the Day since Thanksgiving, haven't you?
That said, I, too, have read no Pynchon, although I made an aspirational purchase of Gravity's Rainbow, like, five months ago.
Yeah -- I haven't really been doing that much reading strickly speakin but what I've been doing, has been ATD. And a little bit of M&D rereading for good measure. Let me know if you get anywhere with GR -- it is a magical, magical book and not really that difficult to read in its first half or so -- though bizarrely difficult after that.
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