Be alert; everyone likes lerts
BREAKING: I have discovered that the StanleyCorp water cooler over near the executive offices dispenses noticeably colder water than the water cooler near the peon cubicles. Also: they have better coffee. What gives?
Since both cold water and coffee serve as stimulants (uh, they both do; just trust me), it seems the only logical answer is a sinister plan to keep us just alert enough to be reasonably productive, while not being juiced enough to question the hierarchy and our measly lot in life.
Of course, I can always make the walk over to Executive Office Land and partake in their perked-up perquisites, but realizing I have to work on Labor Day, I feel more inclined to concoct conspiracy theories about the Man! Keeping! Me! Down!
Next time on cockamamie-work-theory blogging: the eschatological implications of small paper clips and the cretins who use them.
Since both cold water and coffee serve as stimulants (uh, they both do; just trust me), it seems the only logical answer is a sinister plan to keep us just alert enough to be reasonably productive, while not being juiced enough to question the hierarchy and our measly lot in life.
Of course, I can always make the walk over to Executive Office Land and partake in their perked-up perquisites, but realizing I have to work on Labor Day, I feel more inclined to concoct conspiracy theories about the Man! Keeping! Me! Down!
Next time on cockamamie-work-theory blogging: the eschatological implications of small paper clips and the cretins who use them.
posted by Stanley at 11:36
6 Comments:
Well, the big brass probly doesn't come in on Monday right? So maybe you should, under cover of Labor Day, switch around some fixtures. Just borrow a hand truck from Receiving or whoever, and...
Brilliant! I like the way you think, TMK.
When they come back on Tuesday, they will be insufficiently alert to notice the switcheroo, due to their weak coffee and lukewarm water. That would probably be a good day to ask for a raise.
It's almost too perfect.
I just realized that I have no idea what you do.
Sell suits at Eljos? Keep the H/o/ok straight? Make pancakes at the Tavern?
I do Spanish translation and some other things for a technology-ish company. I can be more specific via e-mail. Drop me a line.
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